My wife Donna and I hit a rough patch about ten years into our marriage, and we eventually found ourselves divorced. The divorce lasted ten months, but we were apart for two years. Then, on September 11, 2001, the day the Twin Towers were struck, we were reunited in marriage. We have been living in the miracle of restoration ever since.
I feel the need to say this clearly: it was not unfaithfulness on either of our parts. Rather, the pressures of ministry and the actions of people who called themselves Christians that caused most of our difficulties.
If you are reading this because your own marriage feels past the point of saving, I want you to know that God is still in the business of mending broken hearts and healing shattered dreams.
Ministry can exert a unique kind of pressure on a marriage. The demanding schedule, the financial strain, and the responsibilities of caring for other people’s families while your own is quietly deteriorating in the background can be overwhelming. Donna and I experienced this firsthand. Eventually, she made it clear that the ministry or her was the choice. I didn’t handle the situation well, and I own that. We separated and then divorced. For a period of time, we were not on a path to reconciliation and it looked like any hope for restoration was lost.
Here’s the honest truth: Restoration wasn’t a single, magical moment where everything suddenly fixed itself. It was a long and arduous journey, and most of that journey occurred before anyone witnessed our restoration and remarriage.
The costs we incurred were significant:
- We chose to confront and name the issues instead of quietly moving past them.
- We rebuilt trust in small, unassuming, and everyday ways, rather than relying on a single grand gesture.
- We made a conscious decision to choose each other again, even long after the initial pain should have made it easier to walk away.
None of these actions happened by chance. They were the result of two people, and God, refusing to allow a broken relationship to remain broken.
I’ve been teaching for years that divorce doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of God’s love. Donna and I aren’t just examples of this teaching; we’re living proof. If your marriage is struggling or has ended and you’re carrying the emotional burden, I’m not here to blame you or say that restoration always means remarrying the same person. Sometimes, it doesn’t. But I want you to know that God’s grace is abundant for every repentant heart. Beauty can indeed come from ashes, and you can experience it, just like we did.
Remember..."The Word Will Work, If You Work the Word."
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