Being There Isn't The Same As Being Present

The Room You Were In, But Not Really

Imagine a typical Tuesday night. Dinner is almost ready, the dishes are half-done, and your child stands in the kitchen doorway, sharing their day with you. You look at them, nodding in response. But your mind is already three tabs deep in something that happened at work six hours earlier. You were there, but you weren’t present.

Every parent and spouse has experienced this moment more than once. It’s not a reflection of your love for them. It’s a lack of attention, and attention is one of the most crucial things our families need from us.

What Presence Driven Actually Means

The title of my book is not merely a phrase; it embodies a way of life. When I speak of walking in the presence of Jesus, I am not merely describing a fleeting feeling experienced on a Sunday morning. Instead, I am describing a posture that you carry into various aspects of your life, such as a Tuesday night in the kitchen, a Saturday morning car ride, or a challenging conversation with your spouse.

The presence of Jesus profoundly transforms your interactions with others. That is the essence of its purpose. If it fails to reach your dinner table, it has not fully penetrated your life.

Three Places Presence Gets Traded Away

After thirty-six years of marriage to Donna and raising three children who are now raising their own, I’ve observed the quickest disappearance of presence in a few specific areas. Here are three:

• The phone in your hand isn’t inherently evil, but its glowing screen signals to the person across from you that you’re currently preoccupied with something else.
• The issues in your mind can prevent you from being present at the table and actively working on the task at hand. You might find yourself back at the office, trying to solve yesterday’s problem.
• The rush to fix things. When someone shares a struggle, you immediately jump to solving it, forgetting that they first needed to know you were genuinely listening.

Presence Is A Decision, Not A Feeling

Nobody wakes up feeling naturally present every single day. Some mornings, we are exhausted, distracted, or burdened with our own problems. Presence is not about being free from all burdens. It is about choosing, amidst our own struggles, to look someone in the eye and give them the best of ourselves.

That is precisely how God shows up for us. He doesn’t wait until we have everything under control. He meets us in the midst of our chaos and assures us, “I am right here with you.” Our families deserve the same kind of unwavering presence.

Start Small

Becoming a more present husband, wife, or parent doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your schedule. Instead, make small changes like putting your phone in another room during dinner, asking one more question instead of offering a quick fix, and sitting down instead of talking over your shoulder while you finish a chore.

These small, repeated moments of genuine presence accumulate and create lasting memories for your family, even after they forget all the gifts you’ve given them.

I delve into this journey of walking daily in God’s presence in my book, Presence Driven. Grab your free e-copy today.

Remember..."The Word Will Work, If You Work the Word."