Dr. Vorce shared that as his children were growing up, he endeavored to instill the following truth within them: There are two ways to learn, mentors or mistakes.
He added his advice: Choose mentors. It is quicker, it doesn't cost as much, and it hurts a whole lot less.
That sounds easy until you remember what a mentor actually does. A mentor tells you things you need to hear, not want to hear.
In Luke chapter 6, Jesus posed a simple yet profound question: “Can the blind guide the blind? Won’t they both end up in the ditch?” The next verse wraps things up nicely: “The disciple is not above his master” (Luke 6:39-40). Essentially, you become like the person who guides you. So, who you learn from is more important than how much you read or how hard you try.
Paul points out that while there are many teachers in Christ, there aren’t many true fathers (1 Corinthians 4:15). Dr. Vorce has shared this insight from his pulpit, emphasizing that it’s simple to find teachers, but a spiritual father who genuinely cares for you and is willing to guide and correct you when needed is quite rare. He’s mentioned to some of his mentees, “I can’t help you if I’m afraid of hurting you.”
In a teaching from the Red Letters series, Dr. Vorce told his church that he has only a few mentors, and that he is extremely choosy. He keeps the list short on purpose. His reasoning draws on 1 Thessalonians 5:12, where Paul urges believers to know the people who labor among them.
A big ministry does not qualify someone. Neither does a big business or a famous marriage. God assigning a person to you is a different matter, and Dr. Vorce says he is careful about who gets that kind of access. Two things he looks for:
He also warned people to be careful about who lays hands on them and speaks into their lives. Not everyone who says the Lord has been speaking to them about you has been sent to you. He wrote about this danger in when "God told me" becomes a dangerous claim.
In a 2021 message, Dr. Vorce shared his thoughts on his late pastor, Ron Callahan. Pastor Callahan often reached out with a gentle correction, pointing out things Dr. Vorce might not have seen. Even if he disagreed, Dr. Vorce always followed Pastor Callahan’s guidance. He mentioned that the only times he would have hesitated would have been if the request was immoral, unethical, or illegal. (Pastor Callahan would never have asked him to do anything like this.)
You do not know whether you can be mentored until you have been corrected, because if you cannot take correction, you cannot be led.
Solomon would not be surprised. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend" (Proverbs 27:6). A friend who only agrees with you is a mirror.
In that same message he joked about Dr. Earle Cushman, who wrote the foreword to Presence Driven. Dr. Cushman kept after him to wear a tie in the pulpit, and Dr. Vorce answered, with love, that it was not going to happen. Dr. Cushman's argument was that God's generals ought to look better than the evening newscasters. A good mentor can say that and still be loved.
Maybe you have been paying tuition to the school of mistakes for a long time. You are in good company. Leaders are not exempt, and this post on leading without owning people covers the other side of that relationship.
This week, think of the one person God has already put in front of you, someone you trust enough to hear the hard thing from. Ask them for one honest conversation, then do what they say. That is how learning gets cheaper.
If you want help building a life that listens for God first, you can get a free copy of Dr. Vorce's ebook, Presence Driven, at jonathanvorce.com.
Remember..."The Word Will Work, If You Work the Word."
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